


Refuge

by respoftw



Series: 2018 Hurt/Comfort Bingo [16]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Captivity, M/M, posession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 02:39:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16441436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: Rodney’s mind used to be his refuge.





	Refuge

Rodney’s mind was his refuge.It had been since he was a child.When he started school, he’d realised quickly that he was smarter than everyone else in his class, including his teacher.It was then that he’d started retreating to his mind, at first to escape the idiocy of those around him but later it was a place to escape the taunts and the fists.

 

Rodney’s mind had always been his safe place.That just made what the Goa’uld did to him so much worse.

 

They had gotten to him during a routine visit back to Earth, the annual IOA meeting that they insisted he attend no matter how often he told them it was a waste of his valuable time.Rodney had escaped the mountain for a Starbucks run, ducked into the men’s room to relieve himself and ended up pushed up against the wall, four strong arms holding him still while a snake crawled its way down his throat.

 

Rodney’s mind wasn’t his refuge anymore, it was his prison. 

 

He had read accounts of Goa’uld possession before, everyone who worked for the SGC had read the reports, but nothing could have prepared him for the horror of being held captive in his own mind.

 

He wasn’t always aware of what the Goa’uld who was wearing his skin was doing.There were great swathes of blackness in between the moments of clarity.At first, he clung on to those moments, desperate to see what was happening.It didn’t take long for that to change.

 

Each moment of clarity clawed away at his hope that someone would realise what had happened, leaving him with less and less sanity every time.

 

He’d been so sure the IOA would see through it, that Landry would see through it but none of them did.Not even Caldwell, who had been through this hell himself, seemed to notice anything was wrong and Rodney screamed impotently at all of them as the Daedalus flew closer to Atlantis.

 

Atlantis would realise something was wrong.Rodney held tightly on to that belief for the entire journey.The snake in his head never spoke to him, no matter how loudly Rodney yelled at him, but Rodney could sense his amusement; his complete lack of fear that he would be discovered.

 

He knew it wasn’t an accident that the next time he became aware of the outside world they were back on Atlantis.From the looks of things, they’d been there a while; the snake was wearing Rodney’s usual uniform and tapping away at the Ancient database, downloading everything it could on the security features of Atlantis.Judging by the satisfaction that he could feel pouring off the snake, his mission was going well.

 

Blackness encroached again and Rodney didn’t know how much time had passed when he blinked back into consciousness again. 

 

John was standing in front of him - in front of the snake - and Rodney desperately tried to wrench control back, yelling in frustration when nothing happened.No matter how much he screamed, how hard he tried to make his limbs kick out, he was trapped, captive, a prisoner in his own mind.

 

The snake ignored him, leaning forward, placing his hand on the back of John’s neck.Rodney’s screaming increased tenfold, terrified that he was about to watch the death of his best friend, of the man he - - the snake kissed John, pulling him close and moaning low. 

 

Rodney had thought about kissing John for so long, years, but he had never imagined that his advances would be welcomed, never imagined that John would press him against the wall and lick into his mouth, his hand snaking it’s way under Rodney’s shirt to stoke at the smooth, pale flesh of Rodney’s belly.

 

This was worse than watching the snake kill John.This was worse than knowing the snake was trying to find a way to gift Atlantis to the Goa’uld.This was - - being forced to watch as the snake took everything that Rodney had ever wanted was the worst night of Rodney’s life.This time, when the darkness came - when he could feel John’s hand stroking the snake’s bare skin, when he could hear their sated breaths and feel the lazy kisses against his lips....when the darkness came Rodney welcomed it.

 

His mind had always been his refuge. Now, it was his prison.

 

Now, he sought refuge in nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> And then once John had the snake convinced he’s bought the act, Ronon breaks in, stuns the snake and they get Rodney back.....? Sorry!
> 
> Come on, admit it, you’ve missed my depressing angst ;)
> 
> This fills the captivity square of my hurt/Comfort Bingo Card.


End file.
